英語ライティングの自己評価と改善ポイント

今朝、娘と朝食について喧嘩をしました。
そのときの状況を英語で書いてみましたが、いくつか改善点がありました。
ChatGPT に添削してもらい、より自然な表現を学びました。

添削前の文章

I quarreled with my daughter this morning.
Since she said she doesn't like breakfast, I got angry against it.
Breakfast menu indeed always almost same because my children don't want to eat many kinds of food.
So I have to choose to cook what they can eat.
If they ate many kinds of things, I could cook various menu for breakfast.
I want to have skills for cooking something that contains affluent nutritions but good taste.

添削後の文章

I quarreled with my daughter this morning.
She said she doesn’t like breakfast, which made me upset.
Our breakfast menu is almost always the same because my children are picky eaters.
I have to choose meals they can eat.
If they were willing to eat a variety of foods, I could prepare a more diverse breakfast menu.
I want to develop my cooking skills so I can make nutritious and delicious meals.

添削のポイントと解説

1. 「I got angry against it」 → 「which made me upset」

• 誤: I got angry against it
• 正: which made me upset
  👉 「get angry against it」は不自然な表現なので、「which made me upset」の方が適切。

2. 「Breakfast menu indeed always almost same」 → 「Our breakfast menu is almost always the same」

• 誤: Breakfast menu indeed always almost same
• 正: Our breakfast menu is almost always the same
  👉 語順を自然にし、「indeed」は不要。

3. 「because my children don't want to eat many kinds of food」 → 「because my children are picky eaters」

• 誤: because my children don't want to eat many kinds of food
• 正: because my children are picky eaters
  👉 「picky eaters」の方がシンプルでネイティブらしい表現。

4. 「choose to cook what they can eat」 → 「choose meals they can eat」

• 誤: choose to cook what they can eat
• 正: choose meals they can eat
  👉 「choose meals」の方が簡潔で伝わりやすい。

5. 「If they ate many kinds of things, I could cook various menu for breakfast」 → 「If they were willing to eat a variety of foods, I could prepare a more diverse breakfast menu」

• 誤: If they ate many kinds of things, I could cook various menu for breakfast
• 正: If they were willing to eat a variety of foods, I could prepare a more diverse breakfast menu
  👉 「eat many kinds of things」をより自然にするため、「be willing to eat a variety of foods」に変更。

6. 「I want to have skills for cooking something that contains affluent nutritions but good taste」 → 「I want to develop my cooking skills so I can make nutritious and delicious meals」

• 誤: I want to have skills for cooking something that contains affluent nutritions but good taste
• 正: I want to develop my cooking skills so I can make nutritious and delicious meals
  👉 「affluent nutritions」は不自然なので、「nutritious and delicious meals」に変更。

ChatGPT によるライティング評価（100 点満点）

総合評価：74 点 / 100 点

📌 改善ポイントまとめ

• ✅ より自然な表現を意識する（「which made me upset」「picky eaters」など）
• ✅ 文を簡潔にする（「choose meals」「prepare a more diverse breakfast menu」など）
• ✅ もう少し感情を表現する（「I felt frustrated because I always try my best to cook」など）